Sunday, December 28, 2014

Mary Mother of Jesus

Do not be afraid, for you have found favour with God (Luke 1:30).

I wonder, did Mary ever feel unworthy? 

  • ·    A feeling of unworthiness - Not being acceptable, undeserving of position, unqualified for attention, unsuitable for the role, simply not good enough for the job.
  • ·    Humility - Being down to earth and grounded, lacking pride and vanity, modest and meek, mindful of others, only lowering yourself to put love over ego and others before self.
  • ·   False humility - Self-defeatist and in some ways self-absorbed as it is preoccupied with feelings of inferiority. False humility cannot receive, it cannot accept a compliment, it cannot be comforted by encouragement and it dismisses prophecies of good. False humility thinks shining is offensive, promotion is a temptation and that blessings are to be feared.

God says “Well done my good and faithful servant” for the works you have done (Matthew 25:23), and He calls you “Highly favoured one” for no reason at all, other than the fact that He chose you (Luke 1:28). You can earn a reward but you can’t earn favour. Favour is goodwill and generosity, it is down to the kindness of the giver, not necessarily the goodness of the favoured. Favour is an act of love and approval. Love is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4); He waited for you to show you His favour. Patiently with loving kindness He has drawn you (Jeremiah 31:3). Hebrews 11:6 tells us that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” and He is, but He has and He will choose those who weren’t even looking for Him. After all isn’t that how you came into the kingdom? “I have even called you by your name; I have named you, though you have not known Me” (Isaiah 45:4).

Those we would deem unacceptable He called, those the Jews would have marked unclean based on law and traditions, those that men of great stature would think to be small and insignificant, He chose. What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For you have made him a little lower than the angels, and you have crowned him with glory and honor (Psalm 8:4-5). Like the disciple that Jesus loved (John 21:20), people may look for fault in you, “What about this man?” but what is it to them? (John 21:21-22). Only Jesus is perfect, you are beloved because He chose to love you. Even if it is through nothing but love and grace towards you, on some level you become deserving, you become worthy, and when you learn that you are worthy of love you grow in self-confidence.


Confidence is not the same as pride. Confidence is balanced. Pride is blind and will cause you to stumble (Proverbs 16:18). Confidence can say: I have flaws but I’m still beautiful, I make mistakes but I’m still skilled, I have room to grow but I’m still gifted. Confidence can honestly confess it's wrong (Romans 7:21) “Oh wretched man that I am” (Romans 7:24) and it meets with humility to express gratitude when it's sins are covered (Luke 7:47). Confidence can beat it's chest in repentance (Luke 18:9-14) but won’t ever walk away without receiving mercy. For, humility does not stop us from boldly going to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16). Humility did not stop Moses from asking “Please, show me Your glory” (Exodus 33:18).

God resists the proud, gives grace to the humble (James 4:6) and tells us not to cast away our confidence (Hebrews 10:35). Confident in this very thing that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). He will perfect that which concerns us, His mercy endures forever, and He will not forsake the work of His hands (Psalm 138:8). So though I am weak, I am strong (Joel 3:10) for “His grace is sufficient for me” (2 Corinthians 12:9). A Gentile woman showed her faith by persevering in the face of rejection. Jesus told her “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs”, and she said “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their master’s table” (Matthew 15:27). Even I can receive. Jesus answered and said to her “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you, as you desire”, and her daughter was healed from that very hour. There are some things you will only get when you confidently pursue them, and other things will seemingly drop in your lap, but it’s the same grace.


Luke 1:26-28 "Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, ‘Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!’”. The angel told Mary that she would give birth to the Son of God, Son of the Highest, whose kingdom will have no end. When she asked how this could be, the angel told Mary that she would be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit and conceive supernaturally. With God nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37). 

A gift is a gift because it was given freely (Matthew 10:8) you didn't buy it, but you gladly received it. You don’t need to wonder ‘Why?’ and you don’t need to worry ‘How?’  If she can say yes then so can we. We’re not birthing Jesus, how 'minuscule' is our destiny in comparison (if you compare). On the 29/08/14 I had thoughts on Mary the mother of Jesus in line with the concept of worthiness, I discussed this with a friend who was visiting me. On the 31/08/14 I read an Elijah List post (prophetic website) and the writer was sharing the baby dreams she had been having. She confirmed the train of thought I was on, and shared the lesson of the first dream: She had to be like Mary “who gave her will over to the Lord”. She didn’t speak on worthiness, instead she mentioned trouble.


"The promise is going to turn your life upside down, and you want to pretend it isn’t real". "There’s nothing you can do about it", you can only hide a pregnancy for so long. Just accept the call. In this life we will have many troubles (John 16:33), but I want to walk through those troubled times a blessed person (Deuteronomy 28:1-2). Mary was troubled for a little while but soon after she arose and acted on the word of knowledge by setting out to visit Elizabeth (Luke 1:36-45). She was troubled but obedient. The gift that was a joy to her and the world, also brought her great sorrow for the sacrifice that came with it. God’s grace is always sufficient. Because of the Lord’s great mercies we are not consumed, for His compassions fail not (Lamentations 3:22).

Mary did not despise the prophecy (1 Thessalonians 5:20-21), the fact that she was a virgin, could possibly lose Joseph her fiancĂ©, and be falsely accused of promiscuity aside, she just accepted the call. There is only one mother of Jesus, and there will never be another. What a massive privilege, she was carrying the greatest gift to mankind. Did she earn it? How could she? When you can’t accept the grace of being chosen, gifts can be weights and burdens too. When you fear more than you believe, big dreams can be intimidating and great hope can seem foolish. When it sounds too good to be true, faith becomes a fairy-tale and manifestation a myth. And if it were true, what makes you worthy?

False humility will get you nowhere. Never think yourself unworthy of healing. Jesus asked “Do you want to be made well?”(John 5:6). When He saw that the sick man had already  been in that condition a long time, He knew there was a chance that his broken place had become his comfort zone. Would he remain self-defeating and self-pitying or would he get up? Jesus is the lifter of your head (Psalm 3:3) and there is a time when He will simply tell you to pick up your mat and walk (John 5:8). From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12); you will never get it cowering in the corner. “But Lord, how can I? I am the least of my house” (Judges 6:15), surely He will be with you. With God nothing is impossible, a virgin gave birth to our saviour, Mary the mother of Immanuel, which is translated “God with us” (Matthew 1:23).

Sunday, December 21, 2014

You'll Be On Time

24/03/2014 DREAM

I was sent to London by an important employer. A colleague and I had important business to begin and both of us were keen to get there as early as possible. We were told last minute, so getting to the location on time would be a matter of organisation skills. On the morning of the day, I left out and everything imaginable went wrong, I even got distracted looking for food to buy because I was worn out from the stress of experiencing delay after delay. Buses at a standstill and trains I had to wait on. Then suddenly I was taken back to the day before, as if someone had pressed rewind. This was my chance to go ahead. I heard the words: "I sent you ahead so that you'd be on time."


I had this dream earlier this year but here towards the end of 2014, I feel like sharing it. Maybe because the end of the year and the beginning of another is often a time of reflection. You might not be where you want to be yet but you'll get there and you'll get there on time.

Esther 4:14 "....Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Sunday, November 30, 2014

See It Through...

God may answer your prayers by messing up your plans Just see it through to the end . He might just allow what you fear to come upon you (Job 3:25) so that when you come out on the other side you realize that what you feared could not stop you. It hurt, it even hindered but you can't taunt me with it anymore, I've already survived it  (Isaiah 54:17). Perspective. God said Job was blameless and upright (Job 1:8) because he feared God (Proverbs 8:13) and shunned evil  In all his suffering Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong (Job 1:22). Job didn't go through because he had fears, he went through because he had faith (James 1:2-4). It's just a test. When He has tested me I shall come forth as gold (Job 23:10) He knows the way that I take! You pray "order my steps" (Psalm 37:23) thinking He will align the stones you already planned to hop on (loool), only to have Him redirect you completely. THIS is the way, walk in it (Isaiah 30:21).

It's not just the plans in your own heart (Proverbs 19:21) you're praying the word, keep standing on it but know that WE know and prophesy in PART (1Corinthians 13:9). We only have pieces of the bigger picture, so I stare at the puzzle, squint my eyes and ask "God, what are you making ?" (Isaiah 45:9). The God who knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). Indeed He has spoken it, He has purposed it, He will also do it (Isaiah 46:11). Amen  You know He's put a gift inside of you for a reason, but you modify it's use or deny it's true purpose, because that's not how you see yourself. God calls and He calls and He calls and you run and you run, all this running wears you out so you hide... Or rather His grace hides you in the 'belly of a fish' (Jonah) until you're strengthened (Isaiah 40:31) and submitted enough to run again this time WITH the vision (Habakkuk 2:3).

Let me make it plain, He didn't always do what I expected, but looking back I see the signs. Sometimes you think the word is for someone else but it's for you too. When my Nan was sick, I wrote Isaiah 43:2 inside of her card. When she passed that was the word I held onto. She had already transitioned, I was still going through the waters, the rivers and the fire. Be mindful, when you posture yourself to be productive and say "Lord cause me to grow" He will start cutting you, excuse me, pruning you (John 15:2)  And yet I'd rather be cut down than cut off. Listen, my dad chopped away at the apple tree in our garden, and it looked so ugly and bare, we were side eyeing him like ()... But then it GREW back healthy and produced even more fruit. If it wasn't pruned it would have rotted! Yeah it looked like he messed it up, but everything will be made beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11) Xx
Your new motto: see it through!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

My 'Ministry'

I don't know what to do about how GOOD GOD is to me. I wouldn't even argue it... I won't debate, but I will express. I fear that *ponders* to say "God is good all the time *pause* all the time God is good" is taken as churchy and CLICHE... Some speak it and don't mean it, some only say it because it's what's expected of them. The religious honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far away (Matthew 15:8-9). So I'll say it... But I'm also gonna live it. I'll live out my appreciation in the way I do best, that might not be in the form 'they' expect.

 I'll say it but I'll also sing it, in whatever genre I enjoy, with the lyrics and melody I'm inspired to create. I'll say it but I'll also write it... In stories that reflect His principles, in poems full of imagery, messages and metaphors, not just sermons with scriptures. I'll dance it not just in white gloves and flowing skirts, but like David as a display of joy and gratitude not worried about my garments being 'unpriestly' (2 Samuel 6:14). I'll draw it, not just in crosses and halos or lions and lambs. I'll carry it in my demeanour, my presence, my aura. Note that love fulfills the law (Romans 13:8) so even just walking in love (Ephesians 5:2) is a ministry (John 13:35) in that context you can just LIVE, you can just BE. The thing is many don't want to show love, they just want spotlight. 

Well, if nobody else receives it, that's okay... I will let my peace return to me (Matthew 10:13), because I'm just being true to self by being true to what I believe. I won't sell out to 'the world' but I won't fit in a religious box either. Xx

Sunday, November 23, 2014

The Prayers of the Righteous

I was reminded that the prayers of the righteous availeth much (James 5:13-18)! Don't quit praying. Be persistent (Luke 11:5-13) as persistent as the widow who cried out day and night (Luke 18:1-8). Though He bears long with us His ear is not heavy that it cannot hear nor is His arm shortened that it cannot save (Isaiah 59:1). He is a rewarder of those who DILIGENTLY seek Him (Hebrews 11:6) this is evidence of your faith, that you believe and hope against hope (Romans 4:18). Though it tarries wait for it (Habakkuk 2:3). The prophet asked "How long shall I cry? And you will not hear? Even cry out to you 'Violence!" And you will not save." But the Lord replied "Look among the nations and watch - be utterly astounded. For I will work a work in your days which you would not believe though it were told you." (Habakkuk 1:1-5). He continues "For indeed I AM raising up..." He's working on it!! But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31). Xx

You Changed

"Don't forget where you came from" not everyone who tells you this does it to keep you 'grounded', some will say it to keep you stuck. But why? Shouldn't everyone desire to move forward? Most do, but moving on means moving away from comfort zones, and it's one thing to move on together, it's another for you to shoot off and 'leave them behind'. "You changed". 

In order to grow you need to change. This is not plucking 'something' out of thin air, this is the same 'thing' transformed so that what was old becomes new. You plant a seed and what comes forth can never forget its roots. It can deny them, it can hide them but its very being is evidence. For though it has changed form it's the same seed. 

You are the same person in a different state, continually being refined into the glorious image you were created to reflect. This is not identity lost, this is purpose realised. You were planted to grow, not to be buried, and so you don't lose yourself in this process, but you find yourself. Not everyone likes change... but you never need permission to blossom...

Sunday, November 16, 2014

A Jella Gem (12)

There will always be counterfeits and you will always have a choice. The easy way out or the uphill journey to excellence? Greatness can be uncomfortable, greatness requires passion, greatness can even be offensive to mediocrity, but how bad do you want it? It takes time to build something authentic, because it often goes down (roots) before it grows up (height). They say 'Rome wasn't built in a day'. It's not just impatience due to immaturity or anxiety due to fear that trips you up, it's also over eagerness due to excitement. You can be so happy to have something that you settle for anything. Don't let the wait make you desperate. Keep your standard. When it's time it will work, not because you wished for it, but because you sowed into it. Seedtime and harvest will not cease! (Genesis 8:22)